Gay Weddings are Good for Business

Question:  What are some of the best planning resources we can share with couples during their planning process? 

Answer:  Well, our website www.14stories.com has a ton of blog posts about ways same-sex couples can make their wedding plans special and unique. Also there are great resources on www.gayweddings.com and I love the real wedding stories told by bloggers on www.SoYoureEnGAYged.com. Finally, www.equallywed.com is the the nation's premiere same-sex wedding online magazine with great fresh content and articles.

Do you  have any burning questions for me?  Ask them here and I'll answer in an upcoming post!

With any industry, it's important to know your market when defining your client base and establishing your marketing plan.  If you want to reach the lucrative gay and lesbian wedding market, knowing the needs of this market is no different.  But beyond the broad "gay and lesbian wedding market", there are a bunch of sub-groups.  For example:

• Older gay and lesbian couples will be attracted to a different set of images, a different style of website and different company values than a younger couple.
• Gay male couples will be attracted to different types of images and language than lesbian couples.
• and then there are sub-cultures within these groups (ie, leather bears) but I won't go into detail about that.

If you are in the business of weddings and find yourself referring wedding officiants to couples, you may have some challenges with gay weddings.  First off, they are not sanctioned by most churches and if your client wants a secular ceremony, the options get a little confusing.

If your state allows Justices of the Peace or judges to perform ceremonies and if gay marriage is legal in your state, then by law, all JPs and judges must officiate same-sex weddings.  However, you'll find some JPs who welcome LGBT clients with open arms and others to pretend they are booked on that specific day or otherwise flat-out deny a couple their services.  I've seen it happen even when it's against the law.  

The best resource I've found for officiants is Celebrants-USA.  It's an intensive training so individuals learn to perform life ceremonies - this could include marriage ceremonies, baby blessings and so forth.  Celebrants can draw from a variety of cultural backgrounds to create a very personal and meaningful ceremony.  Technically and legally they are ministers but they serve a non-denominational and usually non-religious role.  Celebrants are great!

It's VERY common for same-sex couples to have a loved one marry them.  This could be a family member or friend who gets a license online from the Universal Life Church to perform marriage ceremonies.  It's pretty easy for them to do and many couples appreciate this personal approach.

As a wedding vendor, when you are looking for officiants to refer your clients to, I'd start with Celebrants-USA and from there, make calls to those who advertise on PurpleUnions.com, SoYoureEnGAYged.com and GayWeddings.com.  Don't refer vendors without first chatting to them about your client in the instance that the officiant may not be as gay-friendly as they pretend to be in their ad!

Who has officiated your same-sex client's weddings?

Thanks to Desiree from Good Gracious Events in L.A. for this question:  What are some cake topper options for same-sex couples?

If you have a question for me, please go ahead and send it along to me and I'll answer it in an upcoming post!

In my seven years of planning same-sex weddings, and in working with over 200 couples, I've had fewer than 15 use any cake toppers at all.  Gay wedding cake toppers used to be pretty hard to find but there are now a bunch of online resources, including of course, Etsy where custom pieces are easily made by crafters like The Enchanted Cupboard.  I've had several clients have custom toppers made in the shapes of animals.

GayRites.net has custom cake toppers for sale if the couple is looking for their likenesses on the cake.

GayWeddings.com is another resource for same-sex cake toppers, particularly if couples are in a rush and don't have time to have something custom made with your likeness.

Have your clients used same-sex cake toppers?

14 Stories prides ourselves as being innovators in the gay wedding industry, because as we all now know, gay weddings are different than straight weddings.  One of my favorite things to do is to look at the wedding industry and figure out what's missing, and then fill in some of the blanks.

That's how 14 Stories started, and that's the reason we just created the country's first app specifically to help same-sex couples with their wedding plans. Check out the screen shot!

Please share this app with your same-sex clients or take a look yourself and enjoy the free download from the iTunes store.  

By the way, the vendor directory on the App comes from my friends at SoYoureEnGAYged.com who have worked so hard to build the largest database of fully-screened and gender neutral wedding vendors in the world.  The vendors listed are ones I know will always be advocates for their LGBT clients.  And that makes me very proud to partner with them.  Enjoy!

There was recently an article in the Boston Globe about how the new Census data indicates a 17% increase in the number of same-sex couples in Massachusetts.

The Census doesn't ask if you are straight or gay - but it does ask if you have an "unmarried partner" and if you are LGBT and married, you can indicate as such.  Bottom line: coupled LGBT people are counted; single LGBT are not.

Using Massachusetts as an example, based on the new Census data, I know that:

• there are over 20,000 same-sex couples living in Massachusetts
• 11,000 of these couples are two women
• 47% of those couples identify as married (as opposed to "unmarried partners").  Keep in mind that many couples (especially in states where same-sex marriage is not legal) may identify as married even if they are not.  
• 13% are between the age of 25-34 (that's generation Y)
• 23% are between 35-49 (that's generation X and Baby Boomers)

That's A LOT of couples - just in Massachusetts!  That's A LOT of weddings...

What does your state data tell you about your marketing strategies?

I'm pleased that TwoBrightLights.com, an interface designed to make it easy for wedding photographers to share images with the vendors involved in their wedding - and submit those images for editorial - has some LGBT editorial partners.

Two Bright Lights recently updated their system to be gender neutral and not just require a bride's name and a groom's name when adding a wedding.  I'm so pleased with this development and know that it will encourage more wedding photographers to submit real gay weddings for editorial.  

Two Bright Lights' current LGBT editorial partners include:

• SoYoureEnGAYged.com
• QueerlyWed.com

but it's encouraging that magazines such as Brides, Get Married and Martha Stewart Weddings have featured real same-sex weddings.  Your images are worth submitting everywhere!

In light of the fact that gay marriages are set to resume in California next week, here are a few blogs and blog posts that are an absolute must-read for any wedding vendor looking to work with same-sex couples on their wedding plans:

• What to call a gay wedding
• Differences between straight and gay weddings
• Best places for your advertising dollars
• Engaged same-sex couples, blogging about their wedding plans
• Why the Federal Government won't recognize gay marriags
• Neutralizing the language on your website
• What churches perform gay wedding ceremonies?
• Turn-offs for gay and lesbian couples
• Data about gay weddings
• What do some lesbian brides like to be called?
• How to address gay wedding invitations
• Defining transgender - and what does this mean for gay weddings?

If you read through these articles, I promise that you will have a leg-up on your competition when it comes to bringing in new business to your company - gay weddings are good for business!  And they are great for society.

I've been getting this question from vendors a lot, especially as gay marriage came to D.C. recently and as a gay wedding expo is scheduled for Massachusetts:  is it worth my time and money to sign up for a booth at a "gay wedding expo" or other gay wedding show?  

It's a great question that comes down to more of a fundamental marketing strategy.  Ask yourself these questions:

• Who is my target market?
• Are they male or female?  
• What wedding budget do you typically work with?

For the past month and a half, I've been working with Kate Parker to make her new website, www.mykateparkerwedding.com inclusive of all couples.  I've made some changes to their language and photos so that gay and straight couples will feel comfortable.  I've written some expert advice articles for the site so that engaged gay and lesbian couples who find themselves there will realize that they are welcome and that there is content just for them.  And you'll even see some real gay weddings up on the site.