Gay Weddings are Good for Business

Last week my company helped four same-sex couples from other states (Nevada, California, Pennsylvania and Texas) legally marry in Massachusetts.  This week, we're working with brides from Mississippi.  This "elopement" service is offered by my company just to make it legal.  Last year we worked with 53 couples from 27 states.  This service brings a lot of money into my company - and into the state of Massachusetts. My clients (eight individuals) and their guests last week collectively spent over $15,000.  It adds up fast.

At least half of these couples plan a party or a celebration - and/or a marriage reenactment - when they get back home.  

If you don't work in a state where gay marriage is legal, you may still get business from these couples.  If you answer your phone and speak to a man who is inquiring about a wedding celebration, are you going to ask him the name of his bride?  Be careful.  It's just that type of assumption that can cost you business.  

Gay and lesbian couples from all over the U.S. are traveling to legally marry and then planning a party back home, a party which requires vendors from the wedding and hospitality industry.  You may need to be ready sooner than you think.

In your business, have you worked with couples who first legally married in another state?

Thanks to Mark Kingsdorf from Queen of Hearts Wedding Consultants and Michelle Martinez from Allure Consulting for this question:  

What's the difference between same-sex marriage and a gay wedding? Is one more correct than the other?  In marketing materials, what phrase should I use - those or commitment ceremonies, civil unions or something else?

A marriage is just that, a civil institution with certain protections and benefits.  The marriage can happen at City Hall.  But we're in the business of weddings.  When I'm speaking about public policy and laws, I use the term same-sex marriage or gay marriage.  When I speak about the celebrations, I call them weddings.

For your marketing materials, if you want to indicate that you are excited to support and work with same-sex couples, you should first think about the demographics and reality of your service area.  For example:

• If you are based in New Jersey or work with couples from there, civil unions (which are legal in New Jersey) is an appropriate phrase.
• If you are based in a state where gay marriage is legal (Vermont, DC, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Iowa, Connecticut), using the phrases LGBT weddings, gay weddings or same-sex weddings is appropriate.
• If you are based in a state where none of the above applies, commitment ceremonies would be the most accurate term.  Commitment ceremonies are a non-legal celebration of a relationship.

How are you planning to market your business to engaged gay and lesbian couples?

As the news became official that the District of Columbia was going to legalize gay marriage, a startup company called GLBT Wedding Services created an event designed to set the Guinness world record of the most number of couples married at the same time.  The previous record was 168 straight couples and the company was aiming for 400 same-sex couples.  It's a very sweet idea and if it worked, would have been pretty cool to see.

Unfortunately, only 10 couples participated.

There's a lesson in this that should be noted as gay marriage becomes legal in other places.   Mike Crawford says it best in this Washington Post article:  "We have been waiting a long time for gay couples to be able to marry, so people are focused on creating events that are going to be really special," says Mike Crawford, co-chairman of DC for Marriage. "And it's hard to be special when you're getting married with hundreds of couples you don't know."

The bottom line is this - gay marriage is rare, sacred and historic.  There aren't very many places where it's legal and only roughly 10% of the population is LGBT.  Gay couples aren't to be tokenized as gay marriage becomes legal.  Marriage is an important institution.  It means something special.  

And you have to be authentic to reach this market.  

How do you feel about large group marriages - even if you're straight?  Is that something you would ever do?

Since gay marriage became legal in Massachusetts six years ago, I've been watching what happens in other states as it becomes legal there.  Here's what you should expect when gay marriage first becomes legal:

The State of Massachusetts, the City of Philadelphia and the City of West Hollywood are spending their advertising dollars marketing to gays and lesbians.