Gay Weddings are Good for Business

Research, data, advice and tips on the business of same-sex weddings from Bernadette Coveney Smith, the nation's leading gay wedding expert. In 2004, Bernadette opened 14 Stories, the first company in the U.S. to specialize in planning legal same-sex weddings.

Tax Implications for Gay Couples

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Wednesday, December 09, 2009
One of the major disadvantages of DOMA is that gays and lesbians are unfairly taxed.  This means several important things:

1. Married gay couples are taxed by the federal government on the portion of employer-provided health insurance because that portion is treated as income.  For example, I am on Jen's health insurance.  Her employer pays extra for the family plan.  The difference between what they pay towards the "family plan" and what they paid for her as an individual, is treated as income and she's taxed.  This doesn't happen with straight married couples.


3.  Gay couples face higher estate taxes.  If one half of a married gay or lesbian couple dies, the surviving partner will have to pay taxes on the estate.  Straight couples are exempt from this tax.

All of these tax implications amount to discrimination which is a significant reason that DOMA needs to be repealed.



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Gay Marriage & the States: New York

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, December 07, 2009
I will be the first to admit that the gay marriage situation in New York state is confusing.  Let me try to break it down:

A good number of my clients come from New York State to legally marry here in Massachusetts, Connecticut and Vermont.  I'm originally from New York and am really hopeful that New York state will legalize gay marriage before Gov. Paterson leaves office. 

Do you know of anyone in New York who has gone to another state to legally marry?  



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What Happened in NY

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Thursday, December 03, 2009
It's heartbreaking that gay marriage was defeated in New York yesterday.  There are about 50,000 same-sex couples in the state.

A quick recap of what happened over the past year and a half:
  • In March 2008, Governor Elliot Spitzer resigned amid a scandal and David Paterson takes over as Governor.
  • In May 2008, Gov. Paterson issued an order that NY was to recognize legal gay marriages performed in other states.
  • In April 2009, Gov. Paterson introduced a bill to legalize gay marriage in NY.
  • In May 2009, the NY Assembly passed the gay marriage bill.
  • Since then, on numerous occasions, the NY Senate has refused to vote on the bill, until yesterday, December 2, when they defeated the gay marriage bill 38-24.
  • Governor Patterson has said that he will not re-introduce the bill unless he feels that its passage is a sure-thing.
Since May 2008, I've worked with a number of gay couples from NY who have come here to Massachusetts to legally marry, bringing their guests and their wallets and giving a nice boost to the Massachusetts economy.

Connecticut has seen an even greater boon from gay couples in NY, since it's the quickest state to get to from New York City. 

I feel terrible for those New Yorkers whose relationship is meaningless in the eyes of 38 members of the NY Senate.  We welcome you to Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont and soon, New Hampshire, where you can legally marry.

Do you know anyone who was affected by this defeat?  Are they now planning to marry somewhere else?



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Immigration & Gay Marriage

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Wednesday, December 02, 2009
There are many ways that being a gay wedding planner is different from your average wedding planner.  Although I'm not an attorney, I have to keep up on laws that may affect same sex couples.

I was recently in the City of Cambridge with clients and we ran into another same-sex couple planning to marry, one of whom was from Ireland.  As a bi-national couple, their marriage is a risk.  The Federal government law, the Defense of Marriage Act, means that the Irish lass will not receive a green card because of their marriage.  Not only that, but their gay marriage will raise a red flag to the Immigration department that, because of the marriage, the lass may stay in the U.S. past her visa's expiration date and could lead to deportation.

It's an issue of discrimination, pure and simple - and bi-national couples who are considering marriage should consult an experienced immigration attorney before proceeding.

For more information, check out the Warning for Bi-National Couples on GLAD.org.

Do you know any gay couple planning their gay marriage who is encountering this situation?  How did they resolve it?



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Gay Marriage & the States: D.C.

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, November 30, 2009
I'm flying down in DC today to speak to wedding professionals tomorrow about gay weddings and thought this would be a good time to give the rundown of the laws and policies in the District of Columbia, as it pertains to LGBT individuals:

  • DC currently does not issue marriage licenses to gay couples.
  • DC does recognize gay marriages performed in other states.
  • The DC Council has begun debating a bill which would legalize gay marriage.
  • Any bill passed by the DC Council is subject to federal Congressional approval (if Congress chooses to intervene).
  • DC has a law banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.
  • According to the Williams Institute, there are 3,839 same-sex couples living in DC.
  • According to the Williams Institute, legalizing gay marriage will create 700 jobs and bring $52.2 million to the DC economy in three years.
Do you think that gay marriage will soon be legal in DC?  Are you ready to plan gay weddings if it is legalized?



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Gay Wedding Glossary: Anti-Discrimination Laws

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Thursday, September 25, 2008
Gay Wedding Glossary

 Anti-Discrimination Laws:

Each state has its own anti-discrimination policy and about half of the U.S. states include include sexual orientation and/or gender identity in this policy.   If your state is NOT on the list below, it is legal to discriminate against same-sex couples.  

The states that prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and/or gender identity are:
  • Minnesota 
  • Rhode Island 
  • New Mexico 
  • California 
  • District of Columbia 
  • Illinois 
  • Maine 
  • Hawaii 
  • New Jersey 
  • Washington 
  • Iowa 
  • Oregon 
  • Vermont
  • Colorado
  • Wisconsin 
  • Massachusetts 
  • Connecticut 
  • New Hampshire 
  • Nevada 
  • Maryland 
  • New York 
  • Delaware
However, these laws do change, so for the most up to date information, look at this map (PDF).  The states in WHITE on the map allow discrimination. 


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Gay Wedding Glossary: Domestic Partnership

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Gay Wedding Glossary

Domestic Partnership: a legal term meaning two cohabitating individuals (same-sex or opposite sex), which may (depending on the jurisdiction) bring with it certain legal protections and benefits.  Many employers and some cities, towns and states offer certain health care and other benefits to registered domestic partners.  Domestic partnerships are not the equivalent to gay marriage nor do they bring the same benefits.  Domestic partnerships are not recognized by the federal government.


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Gay Wedding Glossary: Civil Union

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Thursday, September 13, 2007
Gay Wedding Glossary

Civil Union: A legal union of a same-sex couple, sanctioned by a civil authority. New Jersey, Illinois, Rhode Island, Delaware and Hawaii are the U.S. state with civil unions, though this changes all the time. For the most up to date information, check this page (PDF).  Civil unions were legal in Vermont and Connecticut at a time, before both states approved legal gay marriage.  Civil unions are not equal to marriage, though they provide some (but not all) rights of marriage.  Civil unions are not sanctioned by the federal government and couples with civil unions receive no federal benefits.  

Many same-sex couples, while they see civil unions as progress, still "hold out" for legal marriage before planning a wedding because they don't see much meaning in a separate and unequal institution.

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Goodridge Decision

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, September 10, 2007
Gay Wedding Glossary

Goodridge Decision:  The case which first legalized same-sex marriage in Massachusetts, the first state where gay marriage became legal.  Excerpts from the ruling, written by Judge Margaret Marshall are frequently read as readings during gay marriage ceremonies.

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Name Changes

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Thursday, September 06, 2007
Gay Wedding Glossary

Name Changes:  Many same-sex couples do not change their name after marriage, especially if they have been a couple for a long time.

It is harder for same-sex couples to change their name after marriage than it is for their heterosexual counterparts.  Certified marriage certificates from states in which same-sex marriage is legal do not generally work as a document for name change if the couple lives in a state where same-sex is not legal.  

Those same-sex couples that do change their name often hyphenate but sometimes choose a new name entirely.



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