Gay Weddings are Good for Business

The next Gay Wedding Institute webinar series is underway but I wanted to give a shout-out to the most recent crop of wedding professionals who completed the GWI webinar course. They worked really hard and did a great job. Special shout out to the Charles Hotel in Harvard Square/Cambridge, MA and also the Ritz-Carlton Battery Park who have had the majority of their catering staff participate. Congratulations to the following graduates:

• Wendy Kidd, New York
• Gina Brown, Massachusetts
• Sarah Chatingny, Massachusetts
• Jennifer Halpin, Massachusetts
• Carolyn Croisier, Massachusetts
• Malia Stevens, New York
• Michele Rose, Illinois
• Laura Dlugatch, New York
• Regina Cialone Aliamo, New York
• Rena LeMessurier-Joubert, Alberta, Canada
• Christian Heydt, Massachusetts
• Ivan Jonathan Tavera, Quintana Roo, Mexico
• Jocelyn McCarthy, New York
• Jackie Ross, Florida

They worked hard, took all the webinars, did all the homework correctly and I'm thrilled to have this group as great advocates for LGBT couples!

Gay weddings are good for business, and with the legislation legalizing gay marriage in New York, businesses all over the state are seeing dollar signs.  Almost every interview I give is about the projected financial windfall of the legalization of gay marriage.  But your business could just as easily fall flat so play attention to these five tips:

5.  Don't jump on some gay wedding promotional bandwagon.  History shows us in places like Washington, DC and Illinois that group wedding ceremonies and celebrations, and other non-custom wedding events fall flat.  There have been a number of group events, held right after the legalization of gay marriage or civil unions, that have been canceled or had disappointing turn-outs.  Simply put, a gay couple may have waited 40 years to get married - why would they do it at a group ceremony, or why would they celebrate with 500 strangers?

4.  Don't go crazy with rainbows.  I was talking to two grooms the other day who went to a cake tasting for their upcoming wedding and the bakery had a giant rainbow wedding cake with rainbow fondant and two broadly smiling grooms as toppers.  The grooms were so annoyed.  That stuff is just tacky so stay away!

3.  Don't advertise in non-wedding arenas, like bars, non-wedding print magazines or Pride activities.  Think about it - would you advertise your wedding services to straight couples in People magazine?  You must target areas where same-sex couples are, not LGBT singles!  Be specific, not broad!

2.  Do update all of your marketing materials to be inclusive.  I've said it time and again  - don't make a $50,000 mistake.

1.  Do be authentic.  Stick to your business plan and what has made your business successful so far.  Maintain the image you want for your brand.  If you have never participated in wedding expos before, then why do it now?  If you've never advertised on cheesy websites before, then why do it now?

Following these tips will help you get the right kind of same-sex couple to your business!  What are you planning to do when marketing to same-sex couples?

I've been getting all kinds of calls from reporters wondering what I'm up to this week.  Surely I must be busy planning all sorts of weddings for July 25 or 26, right?  

Nope.  

Why?  The couples that are going to be marrying the first week or two or three that it's legal in New York are the couples that are not really having a wedding - or if they are, the wedding will come much later.  The first wave of couples are the couples who have been together for decades and just want to make it legal.  There will be thousands of couples who travel over from other states to have a small ceremony.  Maybe they will have a small dinner party with friends and family, or maybe they'll have a catered party in their backyard.  They might have cake and photography and they will all need officiants - but those first 120 days are, by and large, not the couples who hire wedding planners or plan bigger weddings.

The couples that are going to plan bigger weddings are going to start hiring all of us this fall when they get back from their summer vacations, are properly engaged and have settled into the idea of a wedding and thought about what they want.  They are mostly going to be planning for 2012 and beyond because the wedding of their dreams should not be rushed and planning takes time.  The New York economy is going to see its largest gay wedding related growth in 2012 and 2013, NOT in 2011.

The big weddings will come - and they will come and come - but in the first 120 days, the little ones will be just as important and just as meaningful and just as legal - and still very good for business.

Yesterday was the first day same-sex couples could apply online for marriage licenses in New York City (to be then available for pick up on July 25).  Sounds great, except that the NYC Marriage Bureau failed to update the form on the website, attracting all sorts of negative media attention and frustration from couples.  The form was updated later in the day but originally had one section for "Bride" and another section for "Groom."

Check it out:


Make sure that your business contact form, contract, marketing materials etc, don't make the same mistake as the NYC Marriage Bureau!  You don't want to accidentally offend or put off potential clients...this could be a $50,000 mistake, literally!

Have you updated your materials yet?

I find myself often guilty of focusing so much on the wedding itself.  The photography, the linens and so forth.  Many of us probably do the same thing.  And even when I teach my peers about gay weddings, especially in the shorter presentations, I don't spend much time on the other businesses that are interconnected.  You probably see it with straight weddings but it's a little bit different for gay weddings.

My homework for you is to identify:

• an attorney who specializes in estate planning and is familiar with the unique needs of same-sex couples
• an attorney who can do second parent adoption for same-sex families
• a gay realtor or a realtor who is familiar with gay-friendly areas and neighborhoods where families can comfortably raise children
• a gay mortgage broker or a mortgage broker who is familiar with any challenges/tax implications for same-sex couples
• a gay financial planner who is familiar with the unique investing challenges/tax implications for same-sex couples
• a gay travel agent or a travel agent who is familiar with which destinations are and are not gay-friendly

Since gay marriage became legal in Massachusetts seven years ago, I've been watching what happens in other states as it becomes legal there.  Here's what you should expect when gay marriage first becomes legal:

I was planning to wait til the fall to launch new dates for the Gay Wedding Institute Certificate course, but in light of my phone and email blowing up with calls from New York wedding vendors looking to enter the gay wedding market, I thought it best to set up some dates for July, before the gay marriage law goes into effect in New York.

So, announcing new dates:  July 12, July 14 and July 19, at 3pm EST.  And of course, non New Yorkers are welcome also!

Registration is open and you can register here!

Same-sex marriage was just legalized in New York state by a narrow margin.  This makes New York the largest state in the U.S. with legal gay marriage (and the sixth state, plus D.C.).  There are approximately 42,600 same-sex couples in the state (though 20% are already legally married).

When gay marriage goes into effect in about a month, gay weddings are expected to boost the NY economy by $210 million in the next three years.  This is amazing news for the wedding industry!

Is your wedding business ready?

• Well, to start, make sure you don't accidentally turn off prospective couples by being heterosexist.  Take down references to "bride and groom" from your website and marketing materials and substitute "couples" or "brides and grooms", for example.
• Make sure your contracts don't say "bride and groom".
• Think about the difference between a straight and gay wedding!
• Understand the federal laws about gay marriage and how your clients can be affected
• Understand what to call a gay wedding

• The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) which states that the Federal Government does not recognize gay marriage performed by individual states, is being challenged by GLAD, the attorneys behind the case which first legalized gay marriage in Massachusetts.  This is notable because DOMA affects just about everything else I'm talking about below...
• Senator Harry Reid's immigration reform framework includes a proposal which would allow American partners of immigrants to sponsor the immigrant for citizenship.  This is a reaction to the Defense of Marriage Act.
• Time Magazine wrote an interesting article about the gay divorce cases in Texas which may accidentally end up legalizing gay marriage in that state.
• A great article explaining the confusion around how same-sex couples can be married in one state and not married in another.
• Seton Hall University is offering a political science course on gay marriage.  This is notable because Seton Hall is a Catholic university.
• The Governor of Hawaii is still undecided on whether she will sign the civil unions bill, says it's very much the equivalent to same-sex marriage (which she doesn't support).
• Four couples in Minnesota filed a lawsuit seeking gay marriage.  Its chances of being approved are slim and other marriage equality activists are afraid the timing is off and the backlash could result in an outright ban.
• New York City, which has a domestic partnership registry, now will offer a civil ceremony as part of the registry service at City Hall.  Note that this is different than legal gay marriage but is intended as a symbolic gesture.

Happy Friday and welcome to the weekly gay marriage news roundup.  This week had some interesting developments. I'm particularly interested to see what happens with gay divorce in Texas.  Here we go!