Gay Weddings are Good for Business

What You Can Learn from MyKateParkerWedding.com

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Wednesday, December 23, 2009

For the past month and a half, I've been working with Kate Parker to make her new website, www.mykateparkerwedding.com inclusive of all couples. I've made some changes to their language and photos so that gay and straight couples will feel comfortable. I've written some expert advice articles for the site so that engaged gay and lesbian couples who find themselves there will realize that they are welcome and that there is content just for them. And you'll even see some real gay weddings up on the site.

This is all very significant for a number of reasons:

The site itself is very cool, intuitively and smartly designed, very useful for couples and vendors. It's a great resource for any couple that I'm proud to be associated with.
There are currently two wedding worlds on the internet - the straight wedding world (such as TheKnot.com and Brides.com) and the gay wedding world (such as GayWeddings.com, SoYoureEnGAYged.com). MyKateParkerWedding.com is the first online wedding resource to seamlessly integrate both worlds. The key word is integration (which requires a certain degree of fearlessness).
Some vendors listed on MyKateParkerWedding.com have been trained by me on how to work with gay couples and others are coming to my upcoming workshop.

Check out the site - I think you'll see some of the tips I've been discussing in these blog posts at work in the site.

In an ideal world, there won't need to be gay wedding websites and straight wedding websites, but we're just not there yet. MyKateParkerWedding.com is the first site of its kind to even come close and I'm really proud of what they're doing.

Comments

Kelly Prizel commented on 23-Dec-2009 10:29 AM

Do you know if every vendor on MyKateParkerWedding.com is willing to work with the LGBT community? This may be too early a question to ask as it's in the demo stages, but I was interested to see how MKPW will continue to support equality in terms of vendor listings.
With all your amazing articles and gender neutral language, I'm not getting married, but I'm on their newsletter list now!
I can't wait for it's release and can't wait to see what you have been working so hard on!

Bernadette commented on 23-Dec-2009 10:58 AM

Kelly, that hasn't been determined yet. All of the vendors on the site are aware of the partnership with 14 Stories and some have proactively sought training. Many others have not but I'm confident that's not a testament to their gay-friendliness or lack thereof. Distinguishing between those that have been vetted and those that have not is a barrier we are working on. Thanks so much for your comment.

Martha's Fearlessness

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Tuesday, December 22, 2009

John F. Kennedy Jr. once said, "There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction."

I admire this quote from the man who started the Peace Corps, was the first Catholic president, was the youngest ever President and also had a Pulitzer Prize. But what does this have to do with gay weddings?

Well, gay weddings are becoming more common now that they're in nearly five states and we've had some notable celebrities have a gay marriage. They are certainly not yet mainstream, but that fantastic publication, Martha Stewart Weddings was bold enough to feature a real gay wedding in their current (anniversary) issue.

You can see the article here, on the website of the two grooms featured.

Handsome guys, eh? I love this. It's a big deal - but it's not. The real wedding is presented as any other real wedding. Gender is not mentioned. The word "gay" is nowhere to be found. It's Jeremy and Andrew's wedding. I'm so happy for them - and really proud of Darcy and the Martha Stewart for being bold enough to do this. Truly, it's a risk. They could and probably will lose subscribers.

The debut edition of Get Married magazine was the first mainstream wedding mag to feature a real gay wedding (that I'm aware of). And the issue of La Bella Bride sitting on my desk also has a real gay wedding.

But this is Martha! Martha! She's brilliant enough to know that comfortable inaction ultimately brings greater risk.

Have you seen any other mainstream wedding magazines featuring real gay weddings?

Comments

Jessy commented on 11-Jan-2010 02:38 PM

Hi Bernadette,

I just wanted to mention that the local versions of Brides magazine features my wedding to my partner in an article called "When the Experts Wed". I think that it is wonderful that they did this! This mag came out in Jan (Brides New York, though Brides Chicago was Dec), pre Martha issue.

The article wasn't a big TA DA- HERE IS A GAY WEDDING, but included my wedding along with the other experts and their straight weddings. I give a BIG hurrah to them! YAY BRIDES MAG! Their article was a quiet and giant step. You can see the article on my blog, hhttp://fleursnyc.wordpress.com/2010/01/04/brides-magazine-ask-the-experts/

Am loving your postings and blog, keep it coming! jessy in New York

Should Your 2010 Marketing Plan Include a LGBT Strategy?

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, December 14, 2009

We all know that we can't be every couple's planner, photographer, DJ, venue etc. We can't. We have to pre-qualify our clients and we have to know who our target market is. Once we do, we can create a specific marketing strategy. I know that as 2010 approaches, many of us are re-evaluating our marketing strategy for the new year, and one of the questions that is being asked is, "Should I begin marketing to gay and lesbian couples? Should I start working on gay weddings?"

It's fair to say no. Your business might not be ready. You may live in a conservative area or have a very traditional client base. I understand that marketing to gay couples and working on gay weddings can involve risk and that it requires authentic courage and authentic action.

Whatever your choice is and whatever the reason for your choice, I'm not personally offended - the reality is that it's a business decision. And if you don't want to reach this market, someone else will.

My goal with this site in 2010 is to help wedding industry vendors learn how to be inclusive in a way that doesn't change your brand or your identity, that helps you and helps gay and lesbian couples without alienating your primary heterosexual market. It can be done.

Are you planning to add a LGBT marketing strategy into your 2010 marketing plan?

Comments

Danny commented on 14-Dec-2009 07:01 PM

Interesting post…
As a gay business owner catering to a mostly heterosexual client base I have misstepped before when a couple contacted me for a consultation and didn't disclose that they were a same sex couple. So I sent them my usual questionnaire complete with sections for bride and groom. One of the brides who returned the form was pleasant, but understandable coy about disclosing that they were a same sex couple. It made me feel awful that they may have felt disrespected somehow, but I also feel like they should have been more up-front with who they are…it’s all very awkward still.

Bernadette commented on 14-Dec-2009 07:21 PM

Danny, thanks for commenting. The solution is simple going forward - you can use terms like "client names" or "the couple" or "bride/groom" in your contract, marketing materials and questionnaire. I hope that little tip helps save you from future awkwardness.

Separating Your Website for Straight and Gay Clients

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, December 14, 2009

When I was speaking about gay weddings to a group of wedding professionals recently, one of the questions I was asked was whether vendors should create one website targeting engaged straight couples and another website targeting engaged gay and lesbian couples.

I strongly advise you not to do this.

Despite your best intentions, this will make you inauthentic:

Your straight clients will find the gay website and the more open-minded of those couples won't respect you because you're afraid to be openly inclusive. The less open-minded ones will also find your alternate site and may be offended.
And I promise you that the gay clients will find the straight website and will think you're afraid to indicate your support of gay couples on your regular site.

There's no reason you can't have one smartly written site with inclusive photos, assembled in a way as to not offend straight or gay couples. I know this is a delicate act - but it can be done.

Have you considered having two websites targeting each the straight wedding and the gay wedding market?

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Lifestyle

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Gay Wedding Glossary

Lifestyle: Also known as “alternative lifestyle”. Inaccurate term often used by anti-gay extremists to denigrate lesbian, gay,bisexual and transgender lives. As there is no one heterosexual or straight lifestyle, there is no one lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender lifestyle and you should avoid this term when talking to or marketing to same-sex clients or couples - even if you are not an anti-gay extremist. This article explains it very well.

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Gay Wedding Directories

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Sunday, September 23, 2007

Gay Wedding Glossary

Gay Wedding Directories: Online gay wedding directories are one way that same-sex couples identify businesses in their community who claim to be gay-friendly. Most of the vendors in those directories are gay-friendly but still heterosexist.

You can use gay wedding directories in a few different ways: you can create a free or buy a paid listing for your own business; and you can use them to build your own list of gay-friendly vendors. If you use the directories to build your own list of gay-friendly vendors, you should still call each one to personally screen those vendors for your clients.

There are many gay wedding directories but the ones personally endorsed by the 14 Stories Gay Wedding Institute are: GayWeddings.com, SoYoureEnGAYged.com, EquallyWed.com, AVoteandaVow.com
and PurpleUnions.com

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Rainbows and Pink Triangles

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, September 17, 2007

Gay Wedding Glossary

Rainbows and Pink Triangles: Rainbows and pink triangles have important meaning in LGBT history. The rainbow is a symbol of liberation and freedom and is widely recognized as a gay symbol. Pink triangles are also a widely recognized gay symbol that has it origins during the Holocaust.

Both symbols, while widely recognized by LGBT individuals, are now seen as dated and cheesy. When putting together your marketing materials for same-sex couples, it is recommended that you do not use those symbols to show your support.

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Rainbows and Pink Triangles

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, September 17, 2007

Gay Wedding Glossary

Rainbows and Pink Triangles: Rainbows and pink triangles have important meaning in LGBT history. The rainbow is a symbol of liberation and freedom and is widely recognized as a gay symbol. Pink triangles are also a widely recognized gay symbol that has it origins during the Holocaust.

Both symbols, while widely recognized by LGBT individuals, are now seen as dated and cheesy. When putting together your marketing materials for same-sex couples, it is recommended that you do not use those symbols to show your support. Although those symbols are not offensive, they are also not appealing to the modern LGBT couple.

Comments

Victoria commented on 18-Jul-2011 02:41 PM

Hi Bernadette, your information is so helpful. I have an in-house design team working on creating new marketing materials for my business, such as a new logo, letterhead, website design for the new LGBT arm of my business. Can you tell me if there are
more modern symbols, colors, etc. that do appeal to LGBT individuals? Thank you so much for your help.

V smith commented on 18-Jul-2011 02:50 PM

Victoria- I'm glad this is helpful for you. If you are looking for a more modern symbol, your best bet is the HRC logo, the equals sign. That's universally known by LGBT individuals. But if your imagery and language is inclusive, you will do well. Thanks!

Gay Wedding Glossary: Open and Affirming

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, September 10, 2007

Gay Wedding Glossary

Open and Affirming: A phrase which can be used to indicate gay-friendliness or inclusiveness. Same-sex couples will know what this means. This phrase is most often used by places of worship to indicate they welcome LGBT members, but can also be used in the marketing materials by other vendors who choose to overtly market to the LGBT community. Example, "Magnificent Occasions is an open and affirming wedding planning company."

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Gay Weddings are Good for Business

What You Can Learn from MyKateParkerWedding.com

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Martha's Fearlessness

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Should Your 2010 Marketing Plan Include a LGBT Strategy?

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Separating Your Website for Straight and Gay Clients

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Lifestyle

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Gay Wedding Directories

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Rainbows and Pink Triangles

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Rainbows and Pink Triangles

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Open and Affirming

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