Gay Weddings are Good for Business

Research, data, advice and tips on the business of same-sex weddings from Bernadette Coveney Smith, the nation's leading gay wedding expert. In 2004, Bernadette opened 14 Stories, the first company in the U.S. to specialize in planning legal same-sex weddings.

What Does a Lesbian Bride Wear to Her Wedding?

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Wednesday, January 20, 2010
You'd think after 6 years as a gay wedding planner, I'd have all the answers on this subject.  I can tell you that for lesbian brides, figuring out what to wear is one of the greatest wedding planning stressors - and that most of the ones I've worked with want something ready to wear, not custom made.  Here's what I've seen:

  • brides in two black cocktail dresses
  • brides in two white/off-white wedding gowns
  • brides in two white/off-white dresses (I wouldn't exactly call them gowns because they were simpler)
  • brides in two white suits
  • brides in two black suits
  • brides in two dresses that matched their wedding colors
  • a bride in a white/off-white gown or dress and her partner in a black suit/tux
  • a bride in a white/off-white gown or dress and her partner in a white/off-white suit/tux
How's that for variety?  Here are some tips when working with lesbian brides on their choice of attire:

  • Don't pass judgement based on whatever choices they make.
  • Don't assume that one or both partners will wear a wedding dress or gown.  Instead ask, "What are you wearing?"
  • Do some research on your own as to what bridal shop is gay-friendly or gay-owned so you can pass a good referral.
  • Identify a local gay-friendly or gay-owned business who can make a custom suit.
  • Identify a local gay-friendly or gay-owned business who can tailor the heck out of a men's suit to fit a woman's figure.
  • Identify gay-friendly or gay-owned businesses (either brick and mortar or web) who can sell a high quality ready to wear white or black suit or tux for a woman.
What have you seen lesbian brides wear to their gay wedding?  Do you already have these resources identified in your community?



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Gay Wedding Glossary: LGBTQ

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Gay Wedding Glossary

LGBT(Q): An acronym meaning lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer.  Sometimes seen as LGBT, LGB, GLBT or other variations.




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Gay Wedding Glossary: Chosen Family

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Thursday, September 20, 2007
Gay Wedding Glossary

Chosen Family:  A term used by LGBTQ individuals to refer to those friends in their lives that they see as their family.  This term is used especially when the individual does not have the support of one's given family.

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Bridegroom

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Thursday, September 20, 2007
Gay Wedding Glossary

Bridegroom: A term used by lesbian brides who do not feel like the traditional bride and are not comfortable with that term or perceived role.  Lesbians who identify as bridegrooms typically do not wear wedding dresses and may have difficulty finding wedding attire.  

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Sexual Orientation

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Thursday, September 13, 2007
Gay Wedding Glossary

Sexual Orientation: Describes an individual’s physical, romantic, emotional and/or spiritual attraction to members of the same and/or opposite sex. Terms include heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual and queer.  This term is advised over "sexual preference" in your marketing materials and conversations with same-sex couples.

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Attendants

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Gay Wedding Glossary

Attendants: Preferred term to describe bridal party or wedding party members in order to remain gender neutral.  Many same-sex couples have attendants of the opposite gender of themselves and thus terms such as "Maid of Honor" and "Best Man" aren't always applicable.  Additionally, many same-sex couples use terms such as:  bestie, best person, best people, man of honor and so forth to describe those who will stand with them.

Many same-sex couples do not have wedding showers or bachelor/bachelorette parties, further diminishing the role of attendants.

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Gay Wedding Glossary: Lesbian

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, September 03, 2007
Gay Wedding Glossary

Lesbian: A woman whose physical, romantic, emotional and/or spiritual attraction is to other women.

66% of same-sex weddings have two women.  Sometimes a lesbian bride prefers to be called a bridegroom.  It's wise not to assume that both members of your lesbian couple client will wear wedding dresses.  58% of lesbian brides wear at least one pants suit or tux.

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