Gay Weddings are Good for Business

Research, advice and tips on the business of gay and lesbian weddings from Bernadette Coveney Smith, the nation's leading gay wedding expert. Bernadette is owner of 14 Stories, the first company in the U.S. to plan legal gay weddings.

Which One of You is the Bride?

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Thursday, August 05, 2010
If two women walk into a cake tasting or a flower shop and the person who greets them says, "Welcome!  Now, which one of you is the bride?" - that is an example of heterosexism.

Or if two guys walk into a a cake tasting or a flower shop and the person who greets them says, "Welcome!  Now, where's the bride?" - that is also heterosexist.

Heterosexism (also known as heteronormative) is the assumption that everyone is straight.

If someone is heterosexist, it doesn't make them a bad person. It doesn't mean that they hate gay people.  It just means that they probably don't know very many gay people and gay things (like gay weddings) simply aren't on their radar.

These types of conversations during gay wedding planning are awkward for the couple, awkward for the vendor and don't start the meeting on the right foot.

Most people are unconsciously heterosexist.  And that's OK.  It's my job to help with that.  

Are you accidentally, unconsciously heterosexist?  What you have you done to change some of your assumptions?



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Photos in Your Marketing Strategy to Gay and Lesbian Couples

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Thursday, June 03, 2010
I get asked this question all the time by wedding industry vendors: how do I market to gay and lesbian couples?

It's the #1 question I'm asked.

My answer is: start by including photos of gay and lesbian couples on your website and in your other marketing materials.  

Instead this photo to the left is what we normally get. (Photo by Teesside, UK)  Lots and lots of photos like that - a very attractive couple and they look lovely and happy and they should.

And I'm not saying that you shouldn't include such photos - but it would help your business to show greater diversity in your online portfolio and in your printed materials.  If you advertise on a gay wedding directory website or print ad, do not include a photo of a straight couple in your ad!

I try not to be a shameless self-promoter but I do think this is important.  I offer a class for those in the wedding industry looking to reach the LGBT marketplace.  

The next question I'm asked is: if I've never shot or worked a gay wedding, how do I get photos for my website?

Go through your portfolio and choose some shots of the bride or the groom alone;  choose some where the gender may be ambiguous; use ample detail shots and long shots - and for more ideas, look at the photos on this very website, www.GayWeddingInstitute.com.

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Real Conversation During Setup of a Gay Wedding

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Friday, January 15, 2010
This is a real life conversation that happened during setup of a 2009 gay wedding:

Banquet Manager:  Where are the bride and groom sitting?
Bernadette:  There are two brides and they are sitting over there (points to the seats).
(a few minutes later)
Banquet Manager:  I'm sorry, can you remind me where the bride and groom are sitting?
Bernadette: There are two brides and they are sitting over there (points to the seats).
Banquet Manager: OK....then where are the two grooms sitting?

Now, I knew that this Banquet Manager wasn't homopobic because the owner of the catering company (her boss) is gay and so were some of her colleagues.  She was, in fact, very nice.

But her immediate thought after hearing me say that there were two brides was not to think that this was a same-sex wedding - but rather to think that it was a double wedding, with two straight couples.

I mention this because gay weddings are not on most people's radars.  Most of the world is not used to gay weddings and if you are a wedding planner, you will have similar conversations.  This is an example of heterosexism.

If you've worked at gay weddings, have you ever had a similar conversation? Or if not, do you have an example of a vendor making assumptions about your clients?



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