Gay Weddings are Good for Business

Today, a district court judge ruled that part 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is unconstitutional.  You can learn more more about the Defense of Marriage Act by following that link, but essentially, it means that my gay marriage in Massachusetts is meaningless most everywhere else including at the federal level and in most states.  Currently this ruling only affects Massachusetts residents.

The law explicitly includes a piece that U.S. states that don't allow gay marriage don't have to recognize gay marriages performed in U.S. states that do.

If this ruling stands, it is significant for a number of reasons and may impact your wedding business:

• Similar lawsuits will follow, opening the door to federal recognition by couples who live in Connecticut, Vermont, and the other places gay marriage is legal.
• You'll see more large receptions in your state hosted by couples who marry where it's legal and return home - the number of couples traveling to legally marry will jump dramatically because it will actually mean something (benefits) on the federal level!
• This should open the door for more states to legalize gay marriage as they see money lost to states where it is.
• Other parts of DOMA that impact the 45 states where gay marriage is illegal are also being challenged.  These states may be forced to recognize gay marriages performed in states where it is.  This means more weddings!
• This ruling will mean more wedding sales for all of us - an annual increase of $9.5 billion when gay marriage is legalized nationally (according to Forbes)

In my independent analysis of nearly 200 same-sex weddings, I've noted that 87% of same-sex couples pay for their own wedding.  This data is representative of both gay and lesbian couples, of all ages, from all around the country. 

The main reasons for this:

• when gay marriage first becomes legal in a state, the first same-sex couples to marry will be those who have been together the longest, often older couples who don't have or need support of their parents;
• roughly 50% of Americans don't support gay marriage and therefore many parents won't pay for their kids' gay wedding (and may not even attend);

• The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) which states that the Federal Government does not recognize gay marriage performed by individual states, is being challenged by GLAD, the attorneys behind the case which first legalized gay marriage in Massachusetts.  This is notable because DOMA affects just about everything else I'm talking about below...
• Senator Harry Reid's immigration reform framework includes a proposal which would allow American partners of immigrants to sponsor the immigrant for citizenship.  This is a reaction to the Defense of Marriage Act.
• Time Magazine wrote an interesting article about the gay divorce cases in Texas which may accidentally end up legalizing gay marriage in that state.
• A great article explaining the confusion around how same-sex couples can be married in one state and not married in another.
• Seton Hall University is offering a political science course on gay marriage.  This is notable because Seton Hall is a Catholic university.
• The Governor of Hawaii is still undecided on whether she will sign the civil unions bill, says it's very much the equivalent to same-sex marriage (which she doesn't support).
• Four couples in Minnesota filed a lawsuit seeking gay marriage.  Its chances of being approved are slim and other marriage equality activists are afraid the timing is off and the backlash could result in an outright ban.
• New York City, which has a domestic partnership registry, now will offer a civil ceremony as part of the registry service at City Hall.  Note that this is different than legal gay marriage but is intended as a symbolic gesture.

Did you know that 2/3 of same-sex couples who marry are a partnership of two women and 1/3 are in a partnership of two men?  

I discovered that in my analysis of around 200 same-sex couples.  This jives with the vital statistics provided by the Massachusetts Department of Public Health over five years of legal gay marriage.

So where are the gay grooms?  I've talked to my clients and have some of my own theories.  Boys aren't raised with the idea of being a princess in a wedding dress some day (though some come up with that idea on their own...).  Guys are also less likely to need the validation that a wedding provides.  

By the way, Preston Bailey is engaged to his partner Theo Blackman and recently blogged about his own plans.  

So what do you think - why so few gay grooms?

For the past six years, I've been tracking gay weddings, noting trends and keeping data.  In my independent analysis of nearly 200 lesbian couples, this is what they wore at their gay wedding:

• 46% of lesbian couples wore one dress and one pants suit or tux
• 42% of lesbian couples each wore a wedding gown (two gowns)
• 12% of lesbian couples each wore a pants suit (two suits or tuxes)