Gay Weddings are Good for Business

Gay Wedding Glossary

Homosexual: Outdated clinical term considered derogatory and offensive by many gay people.  Because of the clinical history of the word “homosexual,” it has been adopted by anti-gay extremists to suggest that lesbians and gay men are somehow diseased or psychologically/emotionally disordered – notions discredited by both the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association in the 1970s.

If you use this term, ie, "I'm working on a homosexual wedding", you may not necessarily offend someone but it's also a very dated term.

Gay Wedding Glossary

Gay Agenda: Notions of a so-called “homosexual agenda” are rhetorical inventions of anti-gay extremists seeking to create a climate of fear by portraying the pursuit of civil rights for LGBT people as sinister. “Lesbian and gay civil rights movement” accurately describes the historical efforts, by gay and straight people alike, to achieve understanding and equal treatment for LGBT people.

Gay Wedding Glossary

Commitment Ceremony: an event that celebrates a relationship, generally without any legal implications.

Before same-sex marriage became legal in certain states and countries, many couples were having commitment ceremonies, very often casual backyard affairs, with no legal rights or benefits.  Couples in states where gay marriage is not legal still have commitment ceremonies but are more often referring to those events as weddings.

Gay Wedding Glossary

Two Aisles:  The way many same-sex couples enter their ceremony space to avoid one of them being the last one down, and therefore seen as "the bride".  Setup for two aisles brings additional complications for the florist (two aisle runners?) and the photographer in particular, especially if each partner enters simultaneously.  Nonetheless, entering the ceremony space simultaneously from two separate directions is very common for same-sex couples.  

These two aisles can be parallel with guests in between.  They could also enter the ceremony space from the left and the right, facing the guests.  Or depending on the number of guests, there can be a large section of guests with no central aisle, and the two aisles on either side.

A simpler alternative, when there is only one aisle, is that the couple processes down the aisle together, holding hands.  This also avoids someone feeling like the only "bride".

Gay Wedding Glossary

Family:  An inside term frequently used by LGBTQ individuals to discreetly refer to other LGBTQ individuals, ie, "I think that photographer is family."

Gay Wedding Glossary

Lesbian: A woman whose physical, romantic, emotional and/or spiritual attraction is to other women.

66% of same-sex weddings have two women.  Sometimes a lesbian bride prefers to be called a bridegroom.  It's wise not to assume that both members of your lesbian couple client will wear wedding dresses.  58% of lesbian brides wear at least one pants suit or tux.

Gay Wedding Glossary

Heterosexual: Also known as "straight" or opposite-sex attraction.  A person whose enduring physical, romantic, emotional and/or spiritual attraction is to people of the opposite sex.  Most weddings are heterosexual weddings.

Gay Wedding Glossary

Heterosexism/Heteronormative: Actions, attitudes and institutions that reflect the assumption that all people are heterosexual. Often functions through omission and language. For instance, forms that use “husband” and “wife” instead of “spouse”or "partner" - or the common exclamation about a charming young child, “Oh, she is going to break some boy’s heart!”

Heterosexism is rampant in the wedding industry, particularly with the wide reference to "the bride" and all things "bridal."  Heterosexism is different from homophobia in that heterosexism is often accidental and even the most well-meaning people are guilty of expecting one bride and one groom.

Gay Wedding Glossary

Gender Identity: An individual’s internal sense and experience of gender. Includes male, female, transgender, genderqueer, queer etc. For transgender people, their birth-assigned sex and their own internal sense of gender identity do not match.  

Gay Wedding Glossary

Civil Partnerships:  Civil partnerships are the federally recognized equivalent of same-sex marriage.  Civil partnerships are the law in several countries, including the U.K., Ireland and Germany.

Civil partnerships bring identical rights, recognition and protections of marriage, to same-sex couples, without using the actual term "marriage".   A civil partnership is different from a civil union in the United States because civil unions are state laws and civil partnership are federal laws.  

Why not use the term marriage?  Marriage, while, at its heart, is a civil institution, has many religious associations.  Many politicians feel that "civil partnership" or "civil union" is a safer term and that it's easier to pass legislation using that term, instead of marriage.