Gay Weddings are Good for Business

I've talked to a bunch of engaged and married same-sex couples, and LGBT individuals, this week and the overwhelming consensus is that they could care less about the royal wedding.  I watched it this morning out of a "professional obligation" and I love weddings.  It was fun but I was only slightly personally interested.

So what is it about the royal wedding that makes most same-sex couples indifferent?

If you think about it, the royal wedding is all about the fairytale.  The real life prince and princess on a metaphorical pedestal marrying for the whole world to see.  The royal wedding idealizes romance - traditional, heterosexual, romance - and there's not a thing wrong with that...

However, same-sex couples in most places around the world have no legal rights or access to the "fairytale."  In that very basic sense, the royal wedding is not relateable.  Plus, in same-sex weddings, there's no prince and princess (or even such a metaphor) and most of the time, the focus is not on the dress.  In fact, in 12% of lesbian weddings and in almost all gay male weddings, there's no dress at all.   And contrary to popular myth, many gay men don't care about women's fashion, let alone women's wedding gowns!

We've already established in a bunch of other blog posts how gay weddings are different and the overwhelming lack of interest in the royal wedding by LGBT couples validates that.  

But on the other hand, I've had dozens of lesbian brides and bridegrooms ask me how they can get a suit like what Ellen DeGeneres wore to her very relateable wedding...

Have you noticed interest in the royal wedding by LGBT couples or individuals?

   photo by Lara Porzak

Last week, in between weddings, I dashed down to the Cayman Islands for the luxury wedding industry summit, Engage! There are some brilliant recaps on other blogs like BridalBar, Jasmine Star, Album Boutique, Elizabeth Anne Designs, to name a few.  I don't need to talk about the impeccable details or post photos since others have done it so well, but I did want to share my own experience as the only attendee specifically in the business of gay weddings.

Now, make no mistake, there were plenty of other attendees in the wedding business who happened to be gay - just no one else in the "gay wedding business."  As such, I felt honored to be singled out as an Innovator by Rebecca Grinnals during her opening remarks. 

One of the first things that stands out to me is that this was the first wedding industry event I've ever attended where I wasn't bombarded by those passing me business cards seeking referrals in order to access my lucrative niche.  How refreshing to be in a crowd above such gaucheness.  I was among people from whom I could learn, and whom could learn from me with an open dialogue, candor and not an ounce of competitiveness. I've never been at an event with such a spirit of collaboration and vision (and I used to work for nonprofits) - and an understanding of the way the wedding industry is evolving.  

I am in the business of identifying unmet needs for my clients and trying to solve the problem of heterosexism within the wedding industry.  Last week, I met Millie Bratten, Editor of Brides magazine, whose current issue features a Real lesbian wedding.  I talked to Randy Fenoli and his agent Jennifer about the lack of wardrobe options for lesbian brides. I spoke with Carley Roney from the Knot about improving Gay.Weddings.com.  I spoke with Colin Cowie about creating a product that is inclusive for all engaged couples.  It's nice to be able to freely speak with those who have the power to create positive change.

Everyone I met has their heart in the right place and wants to be more proactive - not just because it's good for business (and it is) but because it's also good for society.  40 years ago on June 12 was the day it became illegal to ban interracial marriage.  Only 40 years ago.  When will we look back on the day in which it became illegal to ban gay marriage?  

It's not far away and I'm thrilled that such wedding industry visionaries are beginning to understand the impact that the (forthcoming...and it is forthcoming) legalization of gay marriage will have on the industry as a whole.  Big thanks to Rebecca and Kathryn Arce for creating the space for this dialogue.  These are the stories which change the world. What's your story?

(Those last two lines are my company's slogan, by the way)