Gay Weddings are Good for Business

We’ve all had booths at wedding expos in the past. And most wedding expos are targeted to straight couples but there are a few things you should keep in mind in the event that LGBT couples pass through these mainstream wedding expos.  They will come!  Slowly at first, but they'll be there!

1. When you see two women together, they may actually be getting married to each other! It’s true that one may be the bride and the other may be the MOH or a bridesmaid, but don’t make any assumptions either way. Don’t ask, “who’s the bride?” or “which one of you is getting married.” Follow the lead of the women – don’t make any assumptions. 

2. Similarly, when you see two men together, don’t ask, “where’s the bride?” 

3. If you have a form that you want couples to fill out for a raffle or for additional information, don’t say “bride’s name” and “groom’s name” – just say “name” or “bride/groom.” 

4. To the best of your ability showcase your work that is most neutral in tone. That means using photos that are detail shots, long shots and shots of a bride alone or a groom alone. The more images you have of a bride and groom together, the more put-off a same-sex couple may feel. 

5. If you do encounter a same-sex couple, avoid terms such as “sexual preference”, “lifestyle”, “homosexual” and avoid stereotyping them. Believe it or not, I was told by a couple that someone at an expo asked them if one of the partners was the “bride” and one was the “groom” in the relationship. 

These tips, when followed properly, should in no way turn off your potential straight clients either. They are designed to fall under the radar where your potential straight clients don’t notice and your potential same-sex clients are much appreciative.

Question:  Should vendors specifically state in their marketing material that they are willing to work with gay couples or is inclusive language sufficient? What are some other ways they can be sure their marketing materials are inclusive? 

Answer: That is a business decision each vendor will have to make. Inclusive language is the minimum I'd recommend and if you are not afraid of potentially losing straight wedding business, then it would be great to have language and/or photos that specifically mentions same-sex weddings, civil unions or commitment ceremonies.

Go through all of your marketing materials and circle every instance of "bride" or "bride and groom" and replace those terms with "couple", "client", "brides and grooms" or something else that is non gender-specific. That is a good start to making your materials inclusive.

Do you  have any burning questions for me?  Ask them here and I'll answer in an upcoming post!

Question:  What are the financial benefits as well as ramifications for vendors who choose to either work with gay couples or not? 

Answer: The obvious benefit is that there's money to be made! Weddings are big business and every client - gay or straight - is money in your pocket. However, if you are very proactive and "out" about marketing to same-sex couples you run the potential risk of offending potential straight clients. You may say to yourself, "I wouldn't want that kind of straight client anyway..." but a lot of businesses can't afford that risk. There are ways to discreetly attract gay clients without your straight clients noticing or caring.

Do you  have any burning questions for me?  Ask them here and I'll answer in an upcoming post!

With any industry, it's important to know your market when defining your client base and establishing your marketing plan.  If you want to reach the lucrative gay and lesbian wedding market, knowing the needs of this market is no different.  But beyond the broad "gay and lesbian wedding market", there are a bunch of sub-groups.  For example:

• Older gay and lesbian couples will be attracted to a different set of images, a different style of website and different company values than a younger couple.
• Gay male couples will be attracted to different types of images and language than lesbian couples.
• and then there are sub-cultures within these groups (ie, leather bears) but I won't go into detail about that.

One of the most commonly asked questions I get from wedding professionals is, "where should I advertise to reach same-sex couples?"  You probably hear from websites seeking your advertising dollars on a weekly, if not daily, basis.

All of us have an advertising budget.  How do you spend it?  Do you advertise in magazines, websites and blogs that look professional and appeal to your target audience?  Or do you advertise in magazines, websites and blogs that are cheesy and tacky?  Where you do you think your target client gets their information and gay wedding planning resources?

I know how I answer that question for my own wedding planning business.  I spend my hard-earned advertising dollars on professional and polished magazines and web directories.  I don't want anything to do with cheesiness in my business, unless it's in the spirit of fun and kitsch.  Just because the rainbow flag is a historical and meaningful LGBT symbol doesn't mean that it needs to be plastered all over any site promoting gay weddings.  Many gay couples find it cheesy.

When you are making decisions about where to advertise and which gay wedding directories to use, do your due diligence and ask yourself the same questions you would ask if you were investing in advertising for straight weddings:

• does the site get good SEO?
• does the site reach my specific target market? (because there's a good chance that it's not the entire LGBT population)
• does the site represent my brand well?
• would I be embarrassed to be found on this site?
• are the people who call you to ask for your money rude/obnoxious?

I get this question so often I can't believe I haven't blogged on the subject yet! I heard from a wedding photographer today who accidentally insulted her same-sex couple by sending them a form to fill out that had fields such as "Bride's Name", "Groom's Name" and used the terms "bridesmaids" and "groomsmen."  

Fortunately, I know this photographer personally and she's very nice and non-homophobic, simply heterosexist.  She did not lose the client, but was embarrassed to find herself in this situation and came to me for advice.

So, what would you use instead of "bride's name" and "groom's name" on contracts and forms?  

• Party A, Party B
• Client Name, Client Name
• Client A, Client B
• Partner A, Partner B
• Bride/Groom, Bride/Groom
• Client Name, Client Name
• Name, Name

In light of the fact that gay marriages are set to resume in California next week, here are a few blogs and blog posts that are an absolute must-read for any wedding vendor looking to work with same-sex couples on their wedding plans:

• What to call a gay wedding
• Differences between straight and gay weddings
• Best places for your advertising dollars
• Engaged same-sex couples, blogging about their wedding plans
• Why the Federal Government won't recognize gay marriags
• Neutralizing the language on your website
• What churches perform gay wedding ceremonies?
• Turn-offs for gay and lesbian couples
• Data about gay weddings
• What do some lesbian brides like to be called?
• How to address gay wedding invitations
• Defining transgender - and what does this mean for gay weddings?

If you read through these articles, I promise that you will have a leg-up on your competition when it comes to bringing in new business to your company - gay weddings are good for business!  And they are great for society.

I've been getting this question from vendors a lot, especially as gay marriage came to D.C. recently and as a gay wedding expo is scheduled for Massachusetts:  is it worth my time and money to sign up for a booth at a "gay wedding expo" or other gay wedding show?  

It's a great question that comes down to more of a fundamental marketing strategy.  Ask yourself these questions:

• Who is my target market?
• Are they male or female?  
• What wedding budget do you typically work with?

I spoke with two brides planning their gay wedding last week who already have a venue picked out but not booked.  They called me because they were a little concerned.

So, I went to the venue's website and the first sentence of the first paragraph on the weddings page is, "Toast the Bride and the Groom from the terrace with its view of the surrounding hills."

But can we toast just the brides?
Or can we toast just the grooms?

That's what this lesbian couple called me to find out.  Is this a gay-friendly venue?  They'd have to come out to the venue and ask that question themselves.  What if these two were nervous about calling and asking and coming out?  That's not unusual.  

Is this venue willing to risk losing $30,000 on food and beverage rather than make the photos and language on their website inclusive?   Are you?

When I was speaking about gay weddings to a group of wedding professionals recently, one of the questions I was asked was whether vendors should create one website targeting engaged straight couples and another website targeting engaged gay and lesbian couples.