Gay Weddings are Good for Business

Research, data, advice and tips on the business of same-sex weddings from Bernadette Coveney Smith, the nation's leading gay wedding expert. In 2004, Bernadette opened 14 Stories, the first company in the U.S. to specialize in planning same-sex weddings.

Which One of You is the Bride?

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Thursday, August 05, 2010
If two women walk into a cake tasting or a flower shop and the person who greets them says, "Welcome!  Now, which one of you is the bride?" - that is an example of heterosexism.

Or if two guys walk into a a cake tasting or a flower shop and the person who greets them says, "Welcome!  Now, where's the bride?" - that is also heterosexist.

Heterosexism (also known as heteronormative) is the assumption that everyone is straight.

If someone is heterosexist, it doesn't make them a bad person. It doesn't mean that they hate gay people.  It just means that they probably don't know very many gay people and gay things (like gay weddings) simply aren't on their radar.

These types of conversations during gay wedding planning are awkward for the couple, awkward for the vendor and don't start the meeting on the right foot.

Most people are unconsciously heterosexist.  And that's OK.  It's my job to help with that.  

Are you accidentally, unconsciously heterosexist?  What you have you done to change some of your assumptions?



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Comments
Paula Maddox commented on 14-Jan-2010 10:58 AM
Excellent post! You make a great point. I am sure in some cases the vendor in question has no problem with gay clients and may even think they are being 'cool' or cute with what is clearly to others as a terrible question. Your blog is a vital source for both couples and vendors! You are building bridges every day! Thank you!
Marialexandra commented on 12-Aug-2010 08:55 PM
Such a great post! I had never even really thought of it, really opened my eyes. So much to learn... thanks for taking the time to help us understand the market and gay couples, so much better.
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