Gay Weddings are Good for Business

Research, data, advice and tips on the business of same-sex weddings from Bernadette Coveney Smith, the nation's leading gay wedding expert. In 2004, Bernadette opened 14 Stories, the first company in the U.S. to specialize in planning same-sex weddings.

The Alternative Lifestyle

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Jen and I were at a wedding open house a few weeks ago and one of the vendors, upon hearing of our niche, said to us, "That's great!  I'd love to work with you to support these alternative lifestyles."

How would you like it if your life - your LIFE - was referred to as a lifestyle?  Do you live the heterosexual lifestyle?

Now, of course I was very polite and didn't call her out or get all righteous - but imagine what that would have felt like if instead of being two wedding planners, we were two brides or two grooms.  

The problem with the phrase "alternative lifestyle", "gay lifestyle" or "homosexual lifestyle" is that it implies that our life is a choice, that we chose to lead this lifestyle.  The reality is that we were born gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.  It wasn't was a choice and it's not a lifestyle.

Now, this lady was very nice to us, meant no harm whatsoever and certainly didn't mean to offend - nor were we offended.  But I think it's a good teachable moment in case you accidentally use that phrase (even in a very supportive context) with a gay or lesbian couple you are working with.  Many LGBT people will find this offensive even though I didn't.

Have you accidentally ever used the phrase alternative lifestyle in front of a client?





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