Gay Weddings are Good for Business

Research, data, advice and tips on the business of same-sex weddings from Bernadette Coveney Smith, the nation's leading gay wedding expert. In 2004, Bernadette opened 14 Stories, the first company in the U.S. to specialize in planning same-sex weddings.

Real Conversation During Setup of a Gay Wedding

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Friday, January 15, 2010

This is a real life conversation that happened during setup of one of my clients' gay weddings:

Banquet Manager:  Where are the bride and groom sitting?
Bernadette:  There are two brides and they are sitting over there (points to the seats).
(a few minutes later)
Banquet Manager:  I'm sorry, can you remind me where the bride and groom are sitting?
Bernadette: There are two brides and they are sitting over there (points to the seats).
Banquet Manager: OK....then where are the two grooms sitting?

Now, I knew that this Banquet Manager wasn't homopobic because the owner of the catering company (her boss) is gay and so were some of her colleagues.  She was, in fact, very nice.

But her immediate thought after hearing me say that there were two brides was not to think that this was a same-sex wedding - but rather to think that it was a double wedding, with two straight couples.

I mention this because gay weddings are not on most people's radars.  Most of the world is not used to gay weddings and if you are a wedding planner, you will have similar conversations.  This is an example of heterosexism.

If you've worked at gay weddings, have you ever had a similar conversation? Or if not, do you have an example of a vendor making assumptions about your clients?



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Juliet Douglas commented on 15-Jan-2010 06:39 PM
I had an October wedding for a lesbian couple last October and surprisingly we didn't have any conversations like that! The only slip up was when the amenity from the hotel read "Mr & Mrs.". I believe the hotel was not aware because one of the brides had somewhat of a unisex name. My sweet couple told me about it but had a good laugh.
RIck Aguilar commented on 15-Jan-2010 09:23 PM
Dear Bernadette,
I had a similar experience in Chicago when I was photographing a gay wedding at a public garden. We had overheard someone asking another member of the wedding party if the two ladies were marring one man,I guess he couldn't fathom two women being together?? But as continued to take photos we also heard a little girl ask her mother what was going on and after she told her the girls response was one day I am going to marry my best friend too! That story we did share with the couple.
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