Gay Weddings are Good for Business

Research, advice and tips on the business of gay and lesbian weddings from Bernadette Coveney Smith, the nation's leading gay wedding expert. Bernadette is owner of 14 Stories, the first company in the U.S. to plan legal gay weddings.

Gay Marriage & the States: D.C.

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, November 30, 2009
I'm flying down in DC today to speak to wedding professionals tomorrow about gay weddings and thought this would be a good time to give the rundown of the laws and policies in the District of Columbia, as it pertains to LGBT individuals:

  • DC currently does not issue marriage licenses to gay couples.
  • DC does recognize gay marriages performed in other states.
  • The DC Council has begun debating a bill which would legalize gay marriage.
  • Any bill passed by the DC Council is subject to federal Congressional approval (if Congress chooses to intervene).
  • DC has a law banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.
  • According to the Williams Institute, there are 3,839 same-sex couples living in DC.
  • According to the Williams Institute, legalizing gay marriage will create 700 jobs and bring $52.2 million to the DC economy in three years.
Do you think that gay marriage will soon be legal in DC?  Are you ready to plan gay weddings if it is legalized?



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Online Gay Wedding Directories

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Friday, November 27, 2009
I'm sure many of my Tweeps and followers are wonderful people and completely LGBT friendly.  If you are looking to advertise on gay wedding directory websites, here's are my top suggestions - and most of these offer a free basic listing:

  • GayWeddings.com:  the first and pioneering gay wedding directory, resource guide and boutique (founded by a straight mom helping with her lesbian daughter's wedding)
  • RainbowWeddingNetwork.com:  has a vendor directory and produces a magazine and gay wedding expos around the country
  • SoYoureEnGAYged.com: features real gay weddings, gay and lesbian bloggers, a free vendor directory (note: vendors are heavily vetted for inclusion)
  • QueerlyWed.com: features real gay weddings, articles, news stories and a vendor directory
  • PurpleUnions: a vendor directory only (has been great for me for referrals)
  • GayRites.net:  vendor directory (free), store, resources and wedding tips
You may find a few others in a google search but in my experience, these are the best places on the net.

Have you had luck with any of these directories, or others?



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Gay Tourism & Destination Weddings

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The State of Massachusetts, the City of Philadelphia and the City of West Hollywood are spending their advertising dollars marketing to gays and lesbians.

It's a good idea.  Why?  It's just good for business.

According to the articles:

  • Gay and lesbian tourists were expected to spend an average of $2,300 for vacations during the spring and summer whereas heterosexual travelers planned to spend $1,500 for the same period, according to Harris Interactive, a research firm.
  • Gay and lesbian buying power has been estimated at $690 billion and is expected to reach $835 billion in 2011, according to a Witeck-Combs/Packaged Facts survey.
  • The median household income of gays and lesbians is $86,400 and they spent $70 billion on travel last year, according to Community Marketing Inc.
  • Philadelphia reports that every $1 spent on their marketing effort generated $153 in visitor spending and that gay overnight visitors spent twice as much as general overnight visitors.
Keep in mind that of those three areas, only Massachusetts has legal gay marriage.  These advertising dollars aren't even targeted to engaged gay and lesbian couples.

Is your city or state doing anything to attract gay and lesbian tourists?




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Real Gay Wedding Blogs

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Monday, November 23, 2009
If you are looking to gain insight into the world of gay wedding planning direct from the brides and grooms themselves, there are two online resources I urge you to visit:

So You're EnGAYged: this website shares gay wedding tips to couples but also has a bunch of couples blogging about their real gay wedding

Mrster: this website, based in Phoenix and run by Life Design Events, is a resource for planning the modern union.  It features some same-sex and opposite-sex couples blogging about their wedding plans, in addition to some articles.

Am I missing any good ones you think I should be aware of?  Where do you go for resources on gay weddings?



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Understanding the Laws: Defense of Marriage Act

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Friday, November 20, 2009
The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is a law signed by President Clinton in 1996.  This law is designed to keep gay marriage an issue of the individual states.  DOMA states that the federal government will not recognize a gay marriage performed in a state where it's legal - and that a state where gay marriage is not legal does not have to recognize a gay marriage performed in a state where it is.

For example, my gay marriage would not be recognized if I moved to, for example, Georgia (where I would love to live, incidentally).  And if I had married an Irish citizen, she would not get her green card by marrying me.  And this law also means that when Jen and I file our US tax returns, we file single returns, not joint returns (and we lose money). 

If this sounds complicated, just imagine the implications of gay divorce - these NY Times articles are depressing!

There is a lawsuit filed by GLAD to challenge DOMA but it has already been dismissed by the U.S. Justice Department.  It will take an act of Congress or Supreme Court ruling to repeal this law.

Do you know anyone who has been affected by the strange law known as the Defense of Marriage Act? 



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Definition: Marriage

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Copied directly from Merriam-Webster:

1. a) the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law; b) the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage; c) the mutual relation of married persons : wedlock; d) the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage

2. an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected; especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities

3.  an intimate or close union

There's nothing in the definition about religion.

LGBT individuals want civil marriage and its responsibilities and benefits.  Whether or not to have a religious marriage ceremony is something that is a personal choice, regardless of whether you are straight or gay.


I wanted to mention this because, as I write and speak about gay marriage and gay weddings, I'll be referring to the civil, not the religious institution.

How do you use the term marriage?  Do you find that most people are referring to the religious or civil institution?



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Connecticut Recap - 1 year of Gay Weddings

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Last week marked the one year anniversary of gay marriage in Connecticut. Let's look at the numbers according to the Connecticut Department of Public Health:

  • 2,291 - the number of marriage licenses to same-sex couples issued between 11/12/08-8/31/09
  • 50% - the percentage of marriage licenses issued to same-sex couples who were not Connecticut residents
  • 75% - the percentage of marriage licenses issued to same-sex couples in the town of New Haven (Yale) who were not Connecticut residents
  • 13,868 - number of heterosexual marriages in the same time period 
  • 10,174 - the approximate number of gay and lesbian couples living in Connecticut as of 2005 (Source: Williams Institute)
Connecticut vendors, have you seen a big rise in gay weddings in the past year?



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An Introduction

Bernadette Coveney Smith - Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I wanted to introduce this site since I'll be doing most of my blogging over here now.  I've been planning gay weddings for 5 1/2 years, since they were first legalized in Massachusetts six years ago.  Back then lots of people thought I was crazy and advised that having such a specific niche would limit my market.

One of the first things I did when I started my company is put together a list of screened gay-friendly and gay-owned businesses to whom I would feel comfortable referring my clients.  I wrote up questions for each category of wedding vendor: caterer, florist, jeweler, etc - and then cold called a whole bunch of people.  I started my list of places to call based on Pink Pages and Bay Windows advertisers.  

I quickly found out that even though a business advertised in Bay Windows, that did not guarantee that they were gay-friendly.  I had many uncomfortable conversations in those early days and many since.  My goal was to always make sure my clients felt protected from having those conversations themselves.

And that's the goal of this website - to support wedding industry businesses who want to do the right thing and be inclusive of all couples.  I can show you how.



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